Agent to Agent
by SallyStringBass
Summary: Snake was elated to find someone that he could get along with in Smash. However, it was a bit disheartening that the most relatable person he'd met in Smash was a twelve year old octopus.
1. Meeting Cirrina

In hindsight, Solid Snake should've been a little more careful.

The mission had started off alright, at least. Earlier that day, he had received intel that someone was planning an attack on Smash Manor. Naturally, Snake was tasked with investigating the claim.

It took a bit of digging around (read as: holding up suspicious passerby at gunpoint), but Snake finally got ahold of a lead. Apparently, the attackers would be meeting in the Great Cave, one of the battle stages that wasn't being used that week. It was likely that they'd be planning the attack from there, giving Snake the perfect opportunity to do some recon.

Unfortunately, Snake had only been trained in stealth for urban settings; he was basically a fish out of water in nature.

Not to mention he was caught off guard by the sentient tentacles with guns.

...Oh, and some children with tentacles as hair.

Despite the sentient tentacles having no arms, and the children being only 3 feet tall, Snake had been quickly wrangled and conked out. Now, he was chained up in the depths of the Great Cave, struggling to free his hands from behind his back. Two of the kids were guarding him, as well as a couple tentacles.

Colonel wouldn't be happy to hear about this particular failure.

Luckily, Snake's codec was still online. He managed to get in touch with Otacon, who quickly filled him in on his captors.

"They call themselves Octarians," Otacon began, speaking over the rapid clacking of a keyboard. "They're a race of highly evolved octopuses... or octopi. Whatever they're called." Snake could almost hear him shrug. "The ones that look like little kids are called Octolings. They're very similar genetically to the Inklings. You know, the ones in Smash?"

Ah. Right. Snake almost forgot about them. He hadn't really put much thought to the newcomers, being too preoccupied with getting himself settled and training with his old friends. What he DID know about the Inklings was what Otacon had mentioned while he was distracted getting his suitcase unpacked. He knew that they were, supposedly, related to squids. They could transform between squids and humanoids at will, swim in their own ink, and had adverse reactions to ink of any ink colour but their own. Also, they couldn't swim.

Snake also knew that Otacon was weirdly obsessed with them. Likely due to an overdose of anime, he guessed.

Otacon continued. "Anyway, they're way smarter than they look. Octarians are renowned for their advanced technology and warfare. I'm calling for reinforcements now; just hang tight."

It was silent for a moment. Snake fiddled with his restraints, unable to determine how they worked. They seemed to be some sort of electronic handcuff, perhaps opened with a digital key or a voice command.

Snake stopped moving as an Octoling glanced at him from afar. "Gwɪddi," she stated in a garbled voice, lounging on a boulder. They didn't seem to notice the codec yet, luckily. "Pəti prɛs umɛ ɪm, nɛŋɛs?"

"Likæw ju beli skuri, julɪn," another one laughed. "Nikə θrum bə wəshitə jumɛ."

"Geez, I don't wanna hear it," Snake grumbled, glaring down his two captors. "Give it a rest, okay? You caught me. You want a medal or something?"

"θʌfək?" the first one asked, to which the other shrugged. "ʃu bai tʃɔk ɪm?"

"Tʃu. Waje ɪm wiθ."

Grinning, the second Octoling reached behind her back to reveal a giant paintbrush, dripping with deep pink—reddish?—paint. Or maybe it was ink. God, Snake prayed it wasn't blood. That'd be gross.

The Octoling raised the brush above her head, leering down at Snake, when a purple water balloon suddenly started falling between them. Before Snake could process anything, the two girls began running away from the balloon, yelling. "Gwɛh—!"

The balloon landed with a surprising explosion, spraying purple goop all over the place. Snake flinched, momentarily convinced that he was about to die. But he quickly realized that the goop seemed rather harmless. It simply dripped down his body, staining his clothes violet. Meanwhile, the two Octolings were unconscious on the ground, moaning in pain. The rest of the Octarians had surrounded the area, searching for the source of the bomb. But then, from somewhere above, a barrage of purple paint/ink/whatever it was came raining down on the area, evoking shouts of surprise and anger.

As they tried to regain themselves from the attack, a new Octoling jumped down, her gun pointed at Snake's wrists. "Wɛdi!" she cried, shooting at the thing binding Snake's hands together. "Skwɪkwi!"

"Hey, what—" Snake didn't even get the chance to finish before he heard a clicking sound. His wrists fell to his sides, freed from the handcuffs. "How the hell did you..."

"Wɪs wej!"

"Okay, okay!" Snake relented, standing up and grabbing his bag from an unconscious Octoling. He kept in hot pursuit of his rescuer, occasionally glancing behind them to see if they were being followed. "I hope you know where you're going, kid!"

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Snake and the Octoling girl were slouched over a table at Brewster's cafe, out of breath. They'd managed to get out of the Great Cave before the Octarians woke up, and aside from some skin irritation where Snake's wrists were bound, neither of them were harmed.

Brewster brought them both their drinks—death wish coffee, no milk or sugar. He also set down two blueberry muffins. Snake took a small sip of his coffee, ringing up Otacon on the codec.

"Really? An Octoling rescued you?"

"Yup," Snake huffed, watching the Octoling tentatively sniff her coffee. "Is that weird?"

"Well, Octolings are usually pretty closely knit. Rogue Octolings are very rare." Some keyboard clacking sounded over the radio. "Looks like she's completely abandoned her culture. She's decked out in Inkling weaponry. See?"

"No, I don't see," Snake huffed. "I wouldn't know Inkling gear from Octarian, considering they all use those goddamn paintball guns."

"Dæstin!" the Octoling said suddenly, downing the coffee rather quickly with a hidden grin. "Hehehe! Dæstin julɪn!"

"What did you just call me?" Snake snapped, furrowing his brows. "What are you, ten? Maybe you should watch your language."

"Hehehe!"

Otacon was quiet for a minute. Snake continued watching the girl drink her coffee, curious and annoyed at the same time. The cafe was completely silent now, aside from the quiet clinks of Brewster putting away the dishes.

"Snake..."

"Hm?"

"You can... understand her?"

Snake blinked, only just then realizing then he'd been communicating with a creature who spoke a language he didn't know. "Well, sort of," he shrugged, scanning the Octoling up and down. She'd finished her coffee and was now leaning halfway off her seat, observing the other cafe goers carefully. "I get the gist of what she says, anyway."

"But how? Where did you learn a language like that?"

"Nowhere. She's speaking a cocktail of Russian, Japanese and English. And... I think Latin? It's all a blur, honestly."

Otacon paused. "...How many languages do you know, exactly?"

"More than I'd learn from watching Asian cartoons."

A huff. "I don't need a callout, Snake."

"Ju e julɪn... nɛŋɛs?" the Octoling piped, nibbling on her muffin. "Bai adi umɪs. Bəli ɛn cɪtijokara."

"What's she saying, Snake?"

Snake dipped his coffee again. "She's asking if I'm a human. And that she's heard of me." Turning to the Octoling, Snake answered. "Yeah. I'm a human. I'm Snake."

"Snɪk..."

"No. Snake."

"Snək?"

"Eh. Close enough."

"Snək!" She laughed, glancing Snake up and down. "Mai tənuk sʊrinə."

"...Ser-in-ah?"

"Nu! _Sʊrinə!"_

"...Cirrina."

The Octoling nodded vigorously. Snake managed a smile. "Okay, Cirrina. Mind telling me what you're doing in Smash? I know for a fact you're not a fighter."

"Mai cɔræs deju. Me bɔkine pren tu."

"Your friends? What, you mean the Inklings?"

Cirrina made a disgusted face and giggled. "Nooooo, hehe. Pʊrl eja Mərinə."

"Never heard of them."

"Idə ejə Hime? Tɛntæko?"

"Doesn't ring a bell."

Cirrina looked almost shocked. "Gwɛh," she muttered, rubbing her temples, "Julɪna æjɪs dre."

"...Dry? Wait, did you just call me dry?"

"Hehehe!"

"That better not be an insult."

Cirrina simply stuck out her tongue playfully. Snake sighed, ignoring Otacon's snickers. It was official: Snake was DEFINITELY going to regret reporting this to Colonel.

* * *

Author's Note

I always imagined Snake and the Inklings getting along well. But Snake and Agent 8? Oh, they'd get along swimmingly.

I was originally just going to have her be mostly mute, but I wanted to practice characterizing a character that doesn't speak english; it forces me to be more creative with how I write them. Also, it's just downright FUN to write her. I'm having a blast here, lmao

Maybe when I finish this I'll post a translation of what Cirrina is saying. Or I'll work it into a chapter. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


	2. War Has Changed

Poot poot poot.

"Stop shooting me."

Poot poot.

"Cirrina, I said stop."

"Prɔksi!"

"Cirrina—"

"Hehehe!"

Poot poot poot poot poot.

Snake groaned, diligently wiping the ink off his face. But as soon as he was somewhat clean, Cirrina simply shot at him again. Glaring at her, Snake gave up, letting the ink just drip off him onto the floor.

"The ink dissolves after a while," Otacon piped over the radio. He had taken it upon himself to research Inklings and Octolings more closely to help Snake interact with Cirrina. "Don't worry about the carpet."

Cirrina glanced away for a second, and Snake quickly reached out to grab her Octo Shot while she was distracted. Reacting to this, the Octoling quickly morphed into her octopus form and leaped onto the bed. "Skwiji!" she cried, suddenly sounding rather offended.

Snake backed off, deciding not to waste his time. He slid onto the ground and sat in silence. Cirrina had calmed down now; she was poking around Snake's room, curious about his belongings. She rummaged through his drawers, threw his blankets on the floor, and nearly got her hands on his pistol. Snake put it away in a safe box before she managed to grab it. Otacon hung up at one point to talk to Mei Ling, but Snake didn't notice.

Now exhausted, Snake rested his head on the side of his mattress. He wasn't quite sure why Cirrina wouldn't leave him alone. Snake didn't even know her before she saved him from the Octarians. Plus, she mentioned having friends in Smash... So why didn't she go hang out with them? It was bothering him all day... So he decided to ask her about it.

"Cirrina. You mentioned friends that you came with?"

"Njɛs?"

"Where are they?"

Cirrina frowned. "Misu pre forɪm," she drawled, "fɔ dai eŋkliŋs."

"A concert? You mean the one they're hosting in Smashville?"

"Tʃu."

"Why didn't you go too?"

Cirrina suddenly fell silent. She rubbed her arm, clearly uncomfortable with the question. Snake noticed immediately and tried to back off. "Ah. Is this a touchy subje—"

"Bai kɔmplɪ ketɪd," she said suddenly, her tone darkening. "Mai mu oke eŋkliŋs. Nu ɔktoliŋs ejo."

"...Inklings don't like you? Why not?"

"Kɔmplɪ ketɪd," Cirrina said again. She was beginning to tear up. "Dai batəl o siawɔta... ruɪn maja. Bai ruɪn... B—bai..." She sniffled, unable to finish before she broke into silent sobs.

Snake's face paled as a horrific realization struck him. "...A _war_. Oh god... Cirrina, I didn't know—"

Cirrina smiled reassuringly, wiping her tears away. "Okejia. Nu matata." She stood up, placing her Octo Shot on the bed. "Mai dən wiʃ de evagɛn." A sniffle escaped her, and more tears trickled down.

"I know... I've seen my share of warfare. I don't want to do it again either."

"Du... D—du ej stɔ? Dai hʊpen epej?"

Snake looked away. "No... I don't think it ever stops hurting. You can't just... forget all the terrible things you've seen, you know?" He paused, scooting closer to Cirrina and wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "But you can move on from this. Trust me on that."

He smiled, tightening his grip on her. Cirrina laughed once through her tears, burying her face in Snake's shirt. "D—dun tʃat bɔdieja..."

"Nah, I won't tell anyone about this. Your secret's safe with me."

"...Tenkju."

"No problem."


End file.
